I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sorry about my life...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
