Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
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also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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