I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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