FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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