your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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