Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
