I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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