can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
