Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We named our party play list daddy issues
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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