That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
