My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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