when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
