And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
