Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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