Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My ATM looks so different sober.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
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