Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
