Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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