I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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