Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
