mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
