didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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