i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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