You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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