i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
