haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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