Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
