Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
