Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
