I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
