PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
