Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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