I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
