Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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