I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
