i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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