I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
