We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
