But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize