Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
