It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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