so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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