I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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