Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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