i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
