But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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