I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
