a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
