The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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