Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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