I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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