fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
