i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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