So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
