if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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