she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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