she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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