she peed on how many people?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
